On the ninth day after Easter, on Tuesday of St. Thomas Week, Orthodox Christians celebrate the day of Easter commemoration of the departed - Radonitsa.
On Radonitsa, the first memorial service after Easter is performed. It is customary to visit cemeteries, distribute alms and ask to pray for the dead.
It should be noted that the tradition of leaving Easter eggs and Easter cakes on the graves is a pagan relic of the ancient memorial meals - feasts.
It must be remembered that the tradition of leaving food, Easter eggs on graves, is paganism, which was revived in the Soviet Union when the state persecuted the right faith. When faith is persecuted, heavy superstitions arise. The souls of our departed loved ones need prayer.
From a church point of view, a ceremony is unacceptable when vodka and black bread are placed on the grave, and next to it is a photograph of the deceased: this, in modern terms, is a remake, because, for example, the photograph appeared a little over a hundred years ago: this means that this tradition new.
As for the commemoration of the dead with alcohol: any booze is unacceptable. The Holy Scriptures allow the use of wine: “Wine gladdens the heart of a man” (Psalm 103:15), but warns against excess: “Do not get drunk with wine, for there is fornication in it” (Eph. 5:18). You can drink, but you can't get drunk. And I repeat again, the departed need our fervent prayer, our pure heart and sober mind, alms given for them, but not vodka, ”remindspriest Alexander Ilyashenko.
According to St. John Chrysostom (4th century), this holiday was already celebrated in Christian cemeteries in antiquity. The special place of Radonitsa in the annual circle of church holidays - immediately after Easter Easter Week - obliges Christians not to delve into feelings about the death of loved ones, but, on the contrary, to rejoice at their birth into another life - eternal life. The victory over death, won by the death and resurrection of Christ, displaces the sadness of temporary separation from relatives, and therefore we, in the words of Metropolitan Anthony of Surozh, "with faith, hope and Paschal confidence, stand at the tomb of the departed."
How to treat the grave of an Orthodox Christian
Cemeteries are sacred places where the bodies of the dead rest until the future resurrection.
Even according to the laws of pagan states, the tombs were considered sacred and inviolable.
From deep pre-Christian antiquity, there is a custom to mark the burial places with a hill above it.
Having adopted this custom, the Christian Church decorates the grave mound with the victorious sign of our salvation - the Holy Life-Giving Cross, inscribed on the tombstone or placed over the tombstone.
We call our dead dead, not dead, because at a certain time they will rise from the tomb.
The grave is the place of the future resurrection, and therefore it is necessary to keep it clean and tidy.
The cross on the grave of an Orthodox Christian is a silent preacher of blessed immortality and resurrection. Planted in the ground and rising to heaven, it marks the belief of Christians that the body of the deceased is here, in the earth, and the soul is in heaven, that a seed is hidden under the cross, which grows for eternal life in the Kingdom of God.
The cross on the grave is placed at the feet of the deceased so that the Crucifix is facing the face of the deceased.
It is necessary to take special care that the cross on the grave does not look askance, it is always painted, clean and well-groomed.
A simple, modest cross made of metal or wood is more befitting the grave of an Orthodox Christian than expensive monuments and tombstones made of granite and marble.
How to behave in a cemetery
Arriving at the cemetery, you need to light a candle, make a lithium (this word literally means intensified prayer. To perform the rite of lithium when commemorating the dead, you need to invite a priest. and in the cemetery).
Optionally, you can read an akathist about the repose of the dead.
Then clean up the grave or just be silent, remember the deceased.
It is not necessary to eat or drink at the cemetery, it is especially unacceptable to pour vodka into the grave mound - this offends the memory of the deceased. The custom of leaving a glass of vodka and a piece of bread “for the deceased” on the grave is a relic of paganism and should not be observed in Orthodox families.
It is not necessary to leave food on the grave, it is better to give it to the beggar or the hungry.
How to commemorate the dead
“Let us try, as much as possible, to help the departed, instead of tears, instead of sobbing, instead of magnificent tombs, with our prayers, alms and offerings for them, so that in this way both they and we will receive the promised blessings,” writes St. John Chrysostom.
Prayer for the departed is the biggest and most important thing we can do for those who have passed away.
By and large, the deceased does not need a coffin or a monument - all this is a tribute to traditions, albeit pious ones.
But the eternally living soul of the deceased feels a great need for our constant prayer, because she herself cannot do good deeds with which she would be able to propitiate God.
That is why prayer at home for loved ones, prayer at the cemetery at the grave of the deceased is the duty of every Orthodox Christian.
Commemoration in the Church provides special assistance to the deceased.
Before visiting the cemetery, one of the relatives should come to the temple at the beginning of the service, submit a note with the name of the deceased for commemoration in the altar (it is best if this is a commemoration on the proskomedia, when a piece is taken out of the special prosphora for the deceased, and then in the sign of the ablution of his sins will be lowered into the Chalice with the Holy Gifts).
After the liturgy, a memorial service should be served.
Prayer will be more effective if the one who commemorates this day himself partakes of the Body and Blood of Christ.
On certain days of the year, the Church commemorates all fathers and brethren who have passed away from time immemorial, who were honored with a Christian death, as well as those who were overtaken by sudden death, were not sent to the afterlife by the prayers of the Church.
Panikhidas that are performed on such days are called ecumenical, and the days themselves are called ecumenical parental Saturdays. All of them do not have a fixed number, but are associated with the passing Lent-Paschal cycle.
These are the days:
1.
Saturday- eight days before the start of Lent, on the eve of the Week of the Last Judgment.
2.
Saturdays- on the second, third and fourth weeks of Lent.
3.
Trinity parent Saturday- on the eve of the day of the Holy Trinity, on the ninth day after the Ascension.
On the eve of each of these days, special all-night vigils for the dead - parastases are served in churches, and after the liturgy there are ecumenical memorial services.
In addition to these general church days, the Russian Orthodox Church has established some more, namely:
4.
Radonitsa (Radunitsa)- Easter commemoration of the dead, happens in the second week after Easter, on Tuesday.
5.
Dimitriev parental Saturday- a day of special commemoration of the killed soldiers, originally established in memory of the Battle of Kulikovo, and later became a day of prayer for all Orthodox soldiers and military leaders. It happens on the Saturday preceding the eighth of November - the day of memory of the Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessalonica.
6.
Commemoration of the dead warriors- April 26 (May 9, new style).
In addition to these days of church-wide commemoration, every deceased Orthodox Christian should be commemorated annually on the days of his birth, death, on his name day. It is very useful on memorable days to donate to the church, to give alms to the poor with a request to pray for the departed.
Prayer for the Lost Christian
Remember, Lord our God, in the faith and hope of the life of your eternally reposed servant, our brother (name), and as Good and Humane, forgive sins, and consume iniquities, weaken, leave and forgive all his voluntary sins and involuntary, deliver him eternal torment and fire of Gehenna, and grant him the communion and enjoyment of Your eternal good, prepared for those who love You: if you sin, but do not depart from You, and undoubtedly in the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Your God in the Trinity glorified, faith, and Unity in the Trinity and the Trinity in Unity, Orthodox even until his last breath of confession. Be merciful to him the same, and faith, even in Thee instead of deeds, and with Your saints, as if Generous rest: there is no man who lives and does not sin. But Thou art One, apart from all sin, and Thy righteousness, righteousness forever, and Thou art the One God of mercies and generosity, and love of mankind, and to Thee we send glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and forever, and forever and ever. Amen.
Widower's Prayer
Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! In contrition and tenderness of my heart, I pray to You: God rest the soul of Your deceased servant (name), in Your Heavenly Kingdom. Lord Almighty! You have blessed the matrimonial union of husband and wife, when you said: it is not good to be a single man, we will make him an assistant for him. You sanctified this union in the image of the spiritual union of Christ with the Church. I believe, Lord, and I confess that you have blessed you to combine and me with this holy union with one of Your servants. Thy good and wise will deigned to take away from me this Thy servant, and gave it to me, as a helper and companion of my life. I bow before this Thy will, and I pray to Thee with all my heart, accept this prayer for Thy servant (name), and forgive her, if you sin in word, deed, thought, knowledge and ignorance; love the earthly more than the heavenly; more about the clothes and adornment of his body, he cares more than about the enlightenment of the clothes of his soul; or even more carelessly about your children; if you grieve someone by word or deed; if you scold your neighbor in your heart, or condemn someone or something else from such evil deeds. Forgive her all this, as good and philanthropic: as if there is a person who will live and not sin. Do not enter into judgment with Your servant, as Your creation, do not condemn me by her sin to eternal torment, but have mercy and mercy according to Your great mercy. I pray and ask Thee, Lord, grant me strength for all the days of my life, without ceasing to pray for the departed Thy servant, and even before the death of my belly, ask her from Thee, the Judge of the whole world, for the remission of her sins. Yes, as you, O God, put on her head a crown from an honest stone, crowning her here on earth; so crown me with Your eternal glory in Your Heavenly Kingdom, with all the saints rejoicing there, and together with them forever sing Your all-holy name with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Widow's Prayer
Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! You are crying consolation, orphans and widows intercession. Thou didst say: Call upon Me in the day of thy affliction, and I will destroy thee. In the days of my sorrow, I resort to You and pray to You: do not turn Your face away from me and hear my prayer, brought to You with tears. You, Lord, Lord of all, deigned to combine me with one of Your servants, in which we should have one body and one spirit; You gave me this servant, as a partner and protector. Thy good and wise will deigned to take this Thy servant away from me and leave me alone. I bow before this Thy will and resort to Thee in the days of my sorrow: quench my sorrow about being separated from Thy servant, my friend. If you took him away from me, not taken from me by Your mercy. As if you once took two mites to the widow, so accept this prayer of mine. Remember, Lord, the soul of your deceased servant (name), forgive him all his sins, free and involuntary, if in word, if in deed, if in knowledge and ignorance, do not destroy him with his iniquities and do not betray him to eternal torment, but by Your great mercy and according to the multitude of Thy mercies, weaken and forgive all his sins and commit him with Thy saints, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life. I pray and ask Thee, Lord, grant me all the days of my life not to stop praying for Your departed servant, and even before my departure, ask You, the Judge of the whole world, to leave all his sins and move him into Heavenly abodes, even if you have prepared for those who love Tya. Like if you sin, but do not depart from You, and undoubtedly the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit are Orthodox even to the last breath of confession; the same, his faith, even in Thee, instead of deeds, he is imputed: as if a person is not, who will live and not sin, You are one except for sin, and Your truth is truth forever. I believe, Lord, and I confess that You hear my prayer and do not turn Your face away from me. Seeing the widow, weeping greenery, having mercy, her son, to the burial of the bear, resurrected you: so having mercy, calm my sorrow. As if you opened the doors of Your mercy to Your servant Theophilus, who departed to You, and forgave him his sins through the prayers of Your Holy Church, listening to the prayers and alms of his wife: I pray to You, accept my prayer for Your servant and bring him into eternal life. Like you are our hope. You are God, to have mercy and save, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Prayer of parents for the dead children
Lord Jesus Christ, our God, Master of life and death, Comforter of those who mourn! With a contrite and touched heart, I resort to You and pray to You: remember. Lord, in your Kingdom, your deceased servant (your servant), my child (name), and create eternal memory for him (her). You, Lord of life and death, have given me this child. Thy good and wise will was pleased to take it away from me. Blessed be thy name, Lord. I pray to Thee, Judge of heaven and earth, with Thy infinite love for us sinners, forgive my departed child all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, even in word, even in deed, even in knowledge and ignorance. Forgive, Merciful, and our parental sins, may they not abide on our children: we know, as if we have sinned against Thee by a multitude, we have not kept a multitude, we have not created, as thou hast commanded us. But if our deceased child, ours or his own for the sake of guilt, was in this life, working for the world and his flesh, and not more than You, the Lord and your God: if you love the delights of this world, and not more than Your Word and Your commandments, if you betrayed sweetness of life, and not more than repentance of our sins, and in intemperance, vigil, fasting and prayer have betrayed oblivion - I pray you earnestly, forgive me, O good Father, my child, all such sins of his, forgive and weaken, if you do something else evil in this life . Christ Jesus! You resurrected the daughter of Jairus by the faith and prayer of her father. You healed the daughter of a Canaanite wife by faith and the petition of her mother: hear my prayer, and do not despise my prayer for my child. Forgive me, Lord, forgive all his sins and, having forgiven and cleansed his soul, take away eternal torment and instill with all Your saints who have pleased You from time immemorial, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life: as if there is a person who He will live and will not sin, but Thou art the only one except for all sin: yes, whenever you have to judge the world, my child will hear Your most exalted voice: come, blessed of My Father, and inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. Like you are the Father of mercies and bounty. You are our life and resurrection, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and forever and forever and ever. Amen.
Children's prayer for deceased parents
Lord Jesus Christ our God! You are the guardian of the orphans, the grieving refuge and the weeping comforter. I am running to you, orphan, groaning and weeping, and I pray to You: hear my prayer and do not turn Your face away from the sighing of my heart and from the tears of my eyes. I pray to You, merciful Lord, quench my grief about separation from my parent who gave birth and raised (who gave birth and raised) me (my mother), (name) (or: with my parents who gave birth and raised me, their names) - but his soul (or: her, or: theirs), as if departed (or: departed) to You with true faith in You and with firm hope in Your philanthropy and mercy, receive into Your Kingdom of Heaven. I bow before Your holy will, it has already been taken away (or: taken away, or: taken away) be from me, and I ask You not to take away from him (or: from her, or: from them) Your mercy and mercy. We know, Lord, as You are the Judge of this world, punish the sins and wickedness of the fathers in children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, even up to the third and fourth generation: but also have mercy on the fathers for the prayers and virtues of their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. With contrition and tenderness of the heart, I pray to Thee, merciful Judge, do not punish with eternal punishment the deceased unforgettable (departed unforgettable) for me Your servant (Your servant), my parent (my mother) (name), but forgive him (her) all his sins ( her) free and involuntary, in word and deed, by knowledge and ignorance created by him (her) in his (her) life here on earth, and according to Your mercy and philanthropy, prayers for the sake of the Most Pure Mother of God and all the saints, have mercy on him (s) and eternal spare the pain. You, merciful Father of fathers and children! Grant me, all the days of my life, until my last breath, do not stop remembering my deceased parent (my deceased mother) in my prayers, and beg Thee, the righteous Judge, and put him (s) in a bright place, in a cool place and in a place of peace, with all the saints, all sickness, sorrow and sighing will flee from here. Gracious Lord! Receive this day about Your servant (Your) (name) this warm prayer of mine and give him (her) Your recompense for the labors and cares of my upbringing in faith and Christian piety, as if he taught (taught) me first of all lead Thee, your Lord, in reverently pray to You, trust in You alone in troubles, sorrows and illnesses and keep Your commandments; for his (her) well-being about my spiritual success, for the warmth that he (she) brings prayers for me before You and for all the gifts that he (she) asked me from You, reward him (her) with Your mercy. With your heavenly blessings and joys in your eternal kingdom. You are the God of mercies and generosity and philanthropy, You are the peace and joy of Your faithful servants, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and forever and ever. Amen.
The rite of lithium performed by a layman at home and in a cemetery
Through the prayers of our holy fathers, Lord Jesus Christ our God, have mercy on us. Amen.
Glory to Thee, our God, glory to Thee.
The King of Heaven, the Comforter, the Soul of truth, Who is everywhere and fulfills everything. Treasure of the good and life to the Giver, come and dwell in us, and cleanse us from all filth, and save, O Blessed, our souls.
Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us. (Read three times, with the sign of the cross and a bow from the waist.)
Holy Trinity, have mercy on us; Lord, cleanse our sins; Lord, forgive our iniquities; Holy One, visit and heal our infirmities, for Your name's sake.
Lord have mercy. (Three times.)
Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and forever and forever and ever. Amen.
Our Father, Who art in heaven! Hallowed be Thy name, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, as in heaven and on earth. Give us our daily bread today; and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.
Lord have mercy. (12 times.)
Come, let us worship our King God. (Bow.)
Come, let us bow down and bow down to Christ, our King God. (Bow.)
Come, let us worship and bow down to Christ Himself, the King and our God. (Bow.)
Psalm 90
Alive in the help of the Most High, in the blood of the God of Heaven, he will settle. The Lord says: Thou art my intercessor and my refuge. My God, and I trust in Him. As if He will deliver thee from the net of the hunter, and from the rebellious word, His splash will overshadow thee, and under His wings you hope: His truth will be your weapon. Do not be afraid of the fear of the night, from the arrow flying in the days, from the thing in the darkness of the transient, from the scum, and the demon of the noonday. A thousand will fall from your country, and darkness at your right hand, but it will not come close to you, both look at your eyes, and see the reward of sinners. As you, O Lord, are my hope, the Most High have laid down your refuge. Evil will not come to you, and the wound will not approach your body, as if by His Angel a commandment about you, save you in all your ways. They will take you in their hands, but not when you stumble your foot on a stone, step on the asp and the basilisk, and cross the lion and the serpent. For I have trusted in Me, and I will deliver, and I will cover, and, as I know My name. He will call to Me, and I will hear him: I am with him in sorrow, I will crush him, and I will glorify him, I will fulfill him with long life, and I will show him My salvation.
Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and forever and forever and ever. Amen.
Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, glory to Thee, O God (thrice).
From the spirits of the righteous who have died, the soul of Your servant, Savior, rest in peace, keeping me in a blessed life, even with You, Humanity.
In Thy rest, O Lord, where Thy saints rest, rest also the soul of Thy servant, as Thou alone art the Lover of mankind.
Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit: You are the God who descended into hell and loosed the bonds of the fettered. Thyself and the soul of Thy servant rest.
And now and forever and forever and ever. Amen: One Pure and Immaculate Virgin, who gave birth to God without seed, pray that his soul be saved.
Kontakion, tone 8:
With the saints give rest, O Christ, to the soul of Your servant, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life.
Ikos:
You alone are the Immortal, creating and creating man: we will be created from the earth and go to the earth there, as you commanded, who created me, and the river of me: as if you are the earth and go into the earth, or else we will go, the grave weeping creating a song: Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia.
The most honest Cherubim and the most glorious without comparison Seraphim, without the corruption of God the Word, who gave birth to the real Mother of God, we magnify Thee.
Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and forever and forever and ever. Amen.
Lord have mercy (thrice) bless.
Through the prayers of our holy fathers, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us. Amen.
In blissful sleep, grant eternal rest. Lord, to your deceased servant (name) and create eternal memory for him.
Everlasting memory (thrice).
His soul will dwell in the good, and his memory will be for generation and generation.
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