A couple of weeks ago, you enjoyed every minute spent next to your loved one, and today there is only one thought in your head: how to get the guy back? Of course, you can suffer quietly, bursting into burning tears, or you can take action to return love and relationships.
If it’s not in your rules to give up positions, you need to do something. For example, move away from a stressful state and come up with a plan, after which the guy will be with you again.
However, it is important to avoid possible mistakes and correctly calculate your strength so that in the end another woman does not take your man into her hands.
If your beloved boyfriend left you, you need to understand yourself and understand whether you want to return the relationship or go looking for a new love. What needs to be done for this?
- Try to find the factors that led to the breakup. This is also important because in the event of a reunion, this very problem can cause new quarrels and a final break. If it's you, are you ready to change, adjust to a man, get rid of any habits?
- If the ex-boyfriend did not shy away from physical or psychological impact on you, resorted to insults, think about whether you need such a relationship? Of course, love is different, but you should always realize that you need to love and respect yourself.
- Ask yourself the question: “Do I want to be with him and why do I need him?” Perhaps you are just afraid of being alone? Are you embarrassed in front of your friends? Has he provided for you before? If the main reason is true love, the dream of a joint happy future next to this man, you can and should “fight” for your happiness.
- How to return an ex-boyfriend if everything inside is literally boiling with emotions? Give yourself time to let the feelings subside a bit. When you both calm down a little, make a ride to renew the relationship. How much time is needed? It's impossible to say for sure. It all depends on the temperament of the former lovers, the reason for the breakup and the desire to be together.
- Boost your self-esteem, because breaking up a relationship hurts self-esteem. The more you appreciate yourself, the sooner you will be able to find a new love or return the old one:
- improve your appearance and figure (go to the stylist, go in for sports);
- every morning remind of your advantages, completely forgetting about the shortcomings;
- If you find it difficult to cope with the situation on your own, do not hesitate to seek help from a psychotherapist.
- Hope for the best, but don't forget that we don't always get what we want. Suppose you succeed in everything - the relationship is restored, your beloved guy is nearby, but you cannot be completely sure that your expectations will be fully justified.
When thinking about how to get a guy back after a breakup, it is important to think about the correctness of your actions. Unfortunately, many lovely young ladies, wanting to return their beloved, make annoying mistakes that only aggravate the situation and worsen the relationship even more. What should be avoided?
Mistake #1: Humiliation
Yes, it’s hard for you, it’s very bad, but remember - never (!) Begs the former for a resumption of relations. Even if the heart is torn to pieces, do not say such phrases:
- "I'll kill myself if you don't come back";
- “I will forgive you everything, just be with me”;
- "I'll kneel down for you to come back."
A normal guy won't be around a girl who doesn't respect herself. Such actions will only turn him completely away from you, because it is impossible to love the one who kneels.
Humiliation, blackmail, excessive humility are the worst helpers in returning your beloved man.
Mistake number 2. Sexual relations
Deciding to return the ex-lover, some ladies agree to have sex after parting. To charm her beloved, a woman tries to please him in everything and embodies any of his fantasies, including those that were previously forbidden.
Most often, normal relationships are not restored. The guy visits the girl to get a sexual release. She is just a sex partner for him. Of course, it is not necessary to talk about mutual respect and love in such a situation.
Mistake number 3. Tokens and gifts
If the breakup is your fault, be sure to apologize. However, get rid of the desire to fill it with various presents. Such "gifts" are perceived more as ordinary self-doubt or an attempt to appease him.
Agree that bringing various gifts to a man who has broken off relations with you is not the best tactic.
Mistake #4: Lots of “Random” Encounters
Did the guy quit? And even this unpleasant situation is not a reason for watching him in front of the workplace, "random" meetings. A girl who so obsessively demonstrates her feelings will not be pursued by any guy. On the contrary, he will want to run away from you. Of course, in order to return the ex-boyfriend, you need to contact him, but not so intrusively and unceremoniously.
Mistake number 5. Throwing SMS and messages on social networks
The desire to return love is not a reason to attack your ex with pleas for a date or confessions of feelings. Receiving SMS a hundred times a day, the guy is unlikely to want to meet you. Perhaps it was your obsession and demand for tender confessions that caused the relationship to cool. Writing a bunch of SMS is a trifling matter, but what to do with the irritation that has arisen in a former lover?
Mistake #6. Depression
A break with a loved one is a difficult, painful condition. Sometimes it seems that everything is over, the meaning of life is lost, and you don’t feel like doing something at all. In addition, shared pictures, donated toys, and his favorite tunes are constant reminders of pain and disappointment.
It's time to come to your senses! Plunging into depression, "enjoying" your misfortune will not help you get your ex-lover back. He certainly will not return to you out of pity, seeing what you have become. So mourning for a relationship is not the best scenario.
If a girl wants to renew a relationship and return love, you need to seek help from human psychology. At the heart of the technique, which will be discussed further, is the following principle - a person wants what he cannot have.
This psychological mechanism comes from the depths of centuries, but no one has yet canceled its effectiveness.
Why does it work? The main reason that the ex-lover is in no hurry to return to you is very simple - you dream about him more than he wants this relationship. Otherwise, the decision to break up would be mutual, and you would not be tormented by the question of how to get your ex-boyfriend back.
The meaning of the psychological trick is to evoke an important thought in the young man who left you - you no longer need him, you are glad that everything is over, you move on and do not remember him.
Such a mechanism gives a multi-level effect:
- The guy can not understand what has suddenly changed. Now you do not dream about him and do not want to return the old relationship.
- He will definitely be interested in how you managed to cope with negative emotions from the breakup so soon (especially since he is probably still going through).
- He will want to know if you have a new boyfriend, who he is, how happy you are when you meet another love.
- It is likely that he will have an instinct, an irresistible desire to return to the old relationship, chasing you, because you have abandoned suffering and do not yearn for him.
- He is hurt by the completely changed situation, because he previously thought that you were lonely and unhappy, but he is not.
Of course, it is difficult to follow this method, because you dream of returning it. There is only one thought in my head - to write him an SMS in which you need to tell about your feelings. But if you have already tried to return the old relationship, and nothing worked, why not resort to this tactic.
What should be done? First of all, stop feeling sorry for yourself and be patient. After all, the psychological technique is quite simple, but there is hope that everything will work out.
So, if the guy left you, but you don’t want to put up with this fact, you are constantly thinking about how to get your ex back, try the following:
- You need to write an ex-lover a letter by e-mail, a message on a social network or SMS.
- In the message, indicate that you have realized everything, accepted the separation, decided to continue living fully and at full "power".
- Try to convey an important idea in SMS - you are already happy. This must be formulated very briefly and interrupted at the most curious place.
If you are a fan of serial films, then you probably noticed that each episode remains unsaid. That's why you're waiting for the next episode. Such an understatement must be conveyed in the message.
The end of the letter may look like this: “I won’t distract you from business, and I myself am busy - I’m getting ready for Saturday. If you want to chat, I'm always happy to exchange a few words. In the message, you hint that a meeting awaits you (possibly with a man). In addition, unobtrusive "if you want to chat ..." subconsciously stimulates him to take action.
To activate your beloved man, cut off all contacts after sending a message. Do not respond to text messages and emails. That is, you radically change the situation, because now he becomes a pursuer and wants to sort things out, and, possibly, return them.
“Help, I want to return my beloved,” young girls and adult ladies regularly turn to witches with similar requests.
Divination and love spells are another way to get a man.
Some girls, thinking about how to get a guy back after a breakup, decide to resort to otherworldly forces. Is it worth it to do so? Someone will say that love, like war, tolerates any means, including such ambiguous ones as fortune-telling and divination.
If you are desperate and cannot recover after a hard break, no one can forbid you to use the services of black magicians and sorcerers, various psychics.
Moreover, offers of their services (love spells, fortune-telling, prisushki) can be found literally everywhere.
It is believed that such rituals are resorted to by insecure young ladies who do not want to work on their own appearance and character. And indeed, it is enough to “conjure” a photo, write his name on the back, pay for fortune-telling and - the object is on your silver platter.
This is in theory, but in fact it is extremely difficult to say what will happen if this ambiguous method is applied in practice. It might just not work. But suddenly, instead of love, fortune-telling will lead to the opposite emotion - hatred for you?
There are many rituals of love spells and prisushki, you just have to choose the most suitable one.
It is important to understand that divination and fortune-telling are not a panacea for parting in the future.
Even if the ceremony takes place and the result is visible, magic will only bring the beloved back, and you will have to make a lot of efforts so as not to push the man away again.
And yet, how do you get your ex back? This question torments many girls who have experienced parting with their beloved man. “I want a relationship, but he doesn’t. I want to be near, and he drives me. I want to give myself to him without a trace, and he laughs ... ”- women's forums are full of similar messages.
Someone advises to write an SMS in response, to pay for fortune-telling and a love spell, to attract back with the help of sex. If you really decide to get your loved one back, make no mistake.
No matter how painful it is, don't lose your dignity and self-respect. And when the pain of separation subsides a little, try to use our tips.
Hello, I'm Nadezhda Plotnikova. Having successfully studied at SUSU as a special psychologist, she devoted several years to working with children with developmental problems and advising parents on raising children. I apply the experience gained, among other things, in the creation of psychological articles. Of course, by no means do I pretend to be the ultimate truth, but I hope that my articles will help dear readers deal with any difficulties.
